i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
