If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
