Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
