This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
