Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
