we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
