My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
