the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
