Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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