It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
