guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
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