i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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