He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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