I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I love you.
Bad choice
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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