Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
