So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
