Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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