I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize