How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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