Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
