My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
