well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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