Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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