Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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