I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
