yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
