I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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