smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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