Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
