brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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