i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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