I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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