I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
