The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
