I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
