that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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