I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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