am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
