Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
dude. I can hear the air.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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