ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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