Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
