she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
