she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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