I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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