Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
