i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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