Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
