He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
