Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
