Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
