Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
