he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
