Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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