Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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