I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize