puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
