Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
