I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
