Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
