im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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