i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
